Westwood Presbyterian Church
Saturday, January 20, 2018
With Jesus, Like Jesus, For Jesus

ATurning Point in Carla's Life . . .

I remember feeling like I was in a dark hole and that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t pull myself out of it. I had a good job, a wonderful husband and daughter, and had just moved into a larger home. So why was I feeling this way? What was wrong with me?
As cliché as it sounds, I had been searching for more meaning in my life. I left a career in banking in search of a more fulfilling job in the non-profit arena. It was more fulfilling-–and yet, four years later, the void was still there. And the void seemed to get bigger as the stress of life piled up. The turning point for me was a particularly stressful year--moving, the deaths of my mother-in-law and father-in-law within a few months of each other, and our daughter starting kindergarten. It wasn’t any one thing-–but a culmination of several things on top of this unidentifiable longing that was deep inside of me. 
With counseling, I began to dig my way out of the depression I had fallen into--past childhood memories, a dysfunctional family, and two failed marriages. Like many real people, I had a lot of baggage and I was growing weary of carrying it around. It was during this time of soul-searching that we decided to start attending church again.
Church wasn't a new thing for me. I had fond memories as a youth attending church. I was baptized as a pre-teen and remember experiencing a few heartfelt talks with God, but had pretty much tried to run my own life since high school. Over the years, I would feel a pull to pray when I needed something, but managed to push the feelings away when I felt the pull for something more.  
I now believe that my depression was God’s way of telling me it was time to listen to him-–time to rest in him and time to let him take the lead. I did, and now I find myself on this incredible journey as a disciple of Jesus Christ. It’s not been an overnight thing, but the important thing is that I am on the journey. I’m trying to walk with him daily, striving to have a heart like his. It’s not always an easy walk. I make mistakes every day. But I have learned that it is not about perfection, but progress.


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